He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on a matter separates even close friends. – Proverbs 17:9, Amplified Bible (AMP)

Would you consider yourself a loving person or a bitter one? It’s very easy to tell the difference, although it can be quite hard to acknowledge the truth when bitterness, not love, is the way you tend to lean.

One of the surest signs that you lean towards bitterness rather than love is that, when someone offends you, you never let it go. Maybe the offender asks you for forgiveness, or maybe the offender doesn’t. Either way, you never grant forgiveness, and each time the offender’s name comes up, anger swells within your heart. 

You may ask, “What’s wrong with that? The offender really hurt me!” Such a question is perfectly natural, but that’s the problem. It’s NATURAL! It is rooted in our sinful human nature. But, as Christians, our purpose is not to exhibit behavior that reflects our natural tendencies. It is to exhibit behavior that reflects Christ’s supernatural ones. As Romans 8:29 teaches, God’s plan is to mold us into the image of Christ, and it’s pretty hard – actually, it is IMPOSSIBLE – to find biblical examples of Christ harboring bitterness toward anyone.

Years ago someone coined the popular Christian mantra, “What Would Jesus Do?” (WWJD) When it comes to being offended, persecuted, and even physically attacked, Christ did show us what He would do. He would grant forgiveness, even for those who didn’t ask for it. In the very midst of His persecution and crucifixion, Christ prayed, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” In so doing He granted us an example of love for others that our human nature cannot understand. However, as we let the Father mold us into the image of His Son, we’ll learn that granting forgiveness – whether it is asked for or not – is so much more valuable than holding grudges, for with the former we will earn sweet relationships, and with the latter we will earn loneliness.

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