Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. – Colossians 3:21, King James Version (KJV)

For the past couple of days, fans around the world have been mourning the loss of actor/comedian Robin Williams, who took his own life on Monday, August 11, 2014. Williams, 63, had a tremendous career that stretched over portions of five decades. I remember watching Williams’ mesmerizing talent for the first time as a boy when, while flipping channels, I stumbled upon an episode of Mork & Mindy. I was hooked on the show for years, and over the decades I’ve enjoyed watching Williams perform both in various comedic and dramatic roles.

Most of the articles I’ve read regarding his life and death have reported that depression – caused by money troubles, periodic struggles with alcohol and cocaine addiction, and worries that his career might be faltering – led Williams to take his own life. One article, however, reported something that I’ve not seen elsewhere, and that one thing grabbed my attention more than any other.

According to The Hollywood Reporter:

Robin McLaurin Williams was born in Chicago on July 21, 1951. He was raised in affluence, but he was brought up, he admits, by the maid. He developed comedy to please his mother.

When I read that tidbit of information, two Bible verse jumped into mind: Colossians 3:21 and John 3:16.

Colossians 3:21 (Amplified Bible) states:

Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or fret your children [do not be hard on them or harass them], lest they become discouraged and sullen and morose and feel inferior and frustrated. [Do not break their spirit.]

John 3:16 (Amplified Bible) states:

For God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world that He [even] gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, so that whoever believes in (trusts in, clings to, relies on) Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life.

When Colossians 3:21 popped into mind, it came with this thought: I, as a parent, have an obligation to show love to my children. I could not help but think that Williams’ troubles began when he was a boy. His tendency to discouragement and his need for approval were apparently rooted in the trauma of being ignored by his parents. Children naturally seek the approval of mom and dad, and countless people have suffered emotionally and spiritually because mom and dad didn’t approve – at least in the mind of the child. I, as a father, need to understand how important it is to spend time with my children, to seek to understand how they think and how they feel, and to treat as important the things they treat as important. If I fail to do so, I run the risk of provoking my children to fretfulness, discouragement, and feelings of inferiority, causing them to struggle with what they must do to gain my love.

When John 3:16 popped into mind, it came with this thought: God loves us, even when no one else does, including ourselves. As Christ said in John 15:13, there is no greater love one can show another than to lay down one’s life for a friend. Not only did Christ lay down His life for us, but God the Father and God the Holy Spirit endured the pain of watching Christ suffer shame and death for us. Therefore, the entire Holy Trinity suffered because of love for you and for me, and if Williams had grasped that, then he might still be with us today.

Depression is real, and it can be devastating, even unto death. We as parents have an obligation not to push our children in that direction. We as human beings have an obligation to realize that, even if we don’t have the love of others that we would like, God loves us so much more than we deserve. In that glorious truth we can find all of the self-esteem and life purpose that we need, even when life isn’t matching up with our hopes and our dreams.