Not that I am implying that I was in any personal want, for I have learned how to be content (satisfied to the point where I am not disturbed or disquieted) in whatever state I am. – Philippians 4:11, Amplified Bible (AMP)

Discontentment is rampant in our modern culture, and it’s nothing new. Billions of people have succumbed to discontentment throughout the ages, for the desire to wish for something we don’t have is hardwired into our sin nature. When we don’t get what we want, most of us automatically go into pouty face mode. Upon entering that mode, we live in misery, sometimes for years. The sooner we learn to choose contentment no matter what our circumstances are, the more enjoyable life will be.

The best way to learn anything, of course, is to learn from the experiences of others. This way, we can avoid the pain that learning through our own experiences usually brings. So, sit back, get ready, and prepare to learn from the experiences of Karl Pillemer’s 1,000 experts* as they recount the secret to contentment, viewed from the elder years of life:

Gretchen Phelps (89 years old):

In my eighty-nine years, I’ve learned that happiness is a choice—not a condition.

Gloria Vasquez (86 years old):

THE BIGGEST LIGHTBULB OVER my head came to me when I saw I could move away from painful situations by using my choices. I didn’t have to stay and take the pain. I could initiate change. This was a turning point in my life.

Mo Aziz (75 years old):

YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE for all the things that happen to you, but you are completely in control of your attitude and your reactions to them. If you feel annoyance, fear, or disappointment, these feelings are caused by you and must be dug out like a weed. Study where they came from, accept them, and then let them go.

Marguerite Renaud (80 years old):

LOTS OF UNPLEASANT THINGS are going to happen to you in life, and when they do you have two choices. You can mope and sulk and feel sorry for yourself, or you can put on a brave face and get on with your life. Sometimes it takes a lot of self-pity before you can get going with the rest of your life, but the sooner you can manage it, the more you will discover that life is worth living after all.

Kristy Galvin (84 years old):

LEARN HOW TO BREATHE and move on. There is plenty of pain to go around, but if you get stuck in it, you don’t move on. I think you have to adopt a policy of being joyful. I don’t think that joy and happiness just come at you. You make them. It’s an “attitude of gratitude” somehow. It makes it possible to move through this stuff and come out more or less better on the other side.

As a child, Ruth Helm (84 years old) escaped Nazi Germany with her family. Later in life, a plane crash took the life of her 21-year old daughter. After living two years with deep depression following her daughter’s death, Ruth said:

And one day my daughter, Jill, came home from college and she said to me, “Mom, you’re always so sad. It makes me feel that I need to run away from you.” That was my lesson. Those words turned me around, and I said, “Okay, Ruth, you cannot do that anymore because you’re chasing away your other child whom you love, and you’re killing your husband.” It happened that day when my daughter said those words to me. “Mom, you’re always so sad.” That’s when I turned myself around. People here where I live think, “Oh, that lady never had a bad day in her life.'” They always say, “You’re the happiest person—you’re always smiling and laughing.” They should know my background…I chose to be happy.

Mary Farmer, 67 years old, suffered a massive stroke in middle age. Once an active young mother, she has been partially paralyzed and blind for decades. Mary said:

THE FIRST THING I had to do was decide not to feel sorry for myself. If I hadn’t done that, I’d be sitting around having pity parties. You know what happens in a pity party? Satan brings the chips! I realized that I was just so glad to be alive. There was a time when I couldn’t get out of bed by myself. That’s why I get up so early now, around 5:00 a.m., because I’m so happy I can get up on my own! You have to do what you have to do. Because that’s the way I was raised. Don’t drag your behind. Get up and do what you have to do. Do it. Get it out of the way. My mom used to say, “Get up, you can’t get nothing done lying in the bed!” That’s what I did. I eventually got up and made a life.

Like Paul, and like Pillemer’s experts, we have to learn how to be content. The next time you find yourself in unpleasant circumstances, try to remember that, through the time of trial, you’ve been given a chance to add Philippians 4:11 to your character. Oh, and be sure to remember this:

The consensus of the experts is that the choice to be happy is one that is not made once and for all. Instead it must be enacted consciously each and every day—regardless of external circumstances. The happiest elders feel empowered; they have learned to act—to move intentionally toward a positive perspective. – Karl Pillemer

* Karl Pillemer set out to mine the wisdom of roughly 1,000 elderly Americans to determine what advice they would give younger generations. His five-year research project birthed the book, 30 Lessons For Living: Tried and True Advise from the Wisest Americans.

** All quotes are excerpts from: Pillemer, Karl. “30 Lessons for Living.” PENGUIN group, 2011-08-19. iBooks. This material may be protected by copyright. Check out this book on the iBooks Store: https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewBook?id=440422388