And I [now] announce to him that I will judge and punish his house forever for the iniquity of which he knew, for his sons were bringing a curse upon themselves [blaspheming God], and he did not restrain them. – 1 Samuel 3:13, Amplified Bible (AMP)

Most people have a natural desire to be liked by others. The people who find themselves in leadership positions are no different, and very often their natural desire to be liked overruns their dutiful need to discipline misbehaving followers. When leaders choose to let misbehavior go, they think they are doing so out of love; society teaches us that going out of our way not to offend others is a valued form of love. However, just the opposite is true when it comes to offense by discipline. By failing to discipline in order to preserve the peace, leaders encourage people to keep on sinning, and their sin will eventually bring God’s wrath upon them. Letting others be destroyed so that we can be liked doesn’t sound very loving to me.

Aaron’s eagerness to please rather than discipline caused him to comply with Israel’s idol-worshipping tendencies. Eli’s eagerness to please rather than discipline encouraged his sons to blaspheme God’s holy name time and time again. Both leaders’ failure to discipline the offenders led to death for the offenders, and in Eli’s case, it led to the ruin of his family for generations to come.

It is never fun nor easy to discipline those we lead, but disciplining bad behavior is absolutely part of being a leader. It is also one of the greatest forms of love. In order to discipline the offender, we have to realize that the soul of the offender is at stake, and attempting to preserve that soul from destruction is much more important than being liked. It takes a very loving person – one who is more concerned about the welfare of others than the welfare of self – to understand this AND act upon it. Many understand this reality, but they fail to act upon it because they are more interested in maintaining their popularity than shaping the character of others.

Wherever you lead, you must not let your desire to be liked overcome your duty to discipline. Once the pain of being told “no” has passed, the offender will very likely thank you upon realizing you sacrificed your comfort for the sake of his or her character. Even if the offender never realizes what you’ve done for him or her, God knows what you’ve done, and that’s really all that matters. In the end, God is whom you must please, not man. Make sure you never forget that!

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