When my father and my mother forsake me, then theLord will take me up. – Psalm 27:10, King James Version (KJV)

As I read the article, The South Korean Charity That Tries to Give Everyone a Dignified Farewell, I teared up. This article, featured in Time Magazine, highlights the growing trend of elderly people dying all alone in the nation of South Korea.

Ham Hak-joon, an 86-year old man who lives in Seoul, was featured in the article. According to Time:

Ham Hak-joon lives alone in one moldy room at the top of a hill in Seoul, looking out on a city and back on a lifetime that have passed him by.

Now 86 years old and retired without a wife or contact with his two grown children, Ham has plenty of time to wonder how his life will end…

He says he hasn’t spoken to his children in more than 15 years and that his only friends are, like him, poor and elderly. “I thought of donating my body to science,” he said. “At least that way I could be sure that someone would come collect me when I go.”

Ham wears his winter jacket, seated cross-legged on an electric blanket, the only source of heat in his otherwise frigid one-room apartment. He apologizes for the low temperature and is sheepish about his room’s musty odor. Before receiving visitors, he leaves the door open to bring in fresh air, despite the subzero temperatures outdoors.

One of three children, he tells the story of having started his adulthood in the South Korean military in the mid-1950s, driving a truck delivering ammunition to military posts on the northern outskirts of Seoul — then and today the frontline in a simmering conflict with North Korea.

He then spent years as a bus driver, traversing the busy streets of Seoul. Frustrated by how his low wages made it difficult for him to provide for his wife and two children, Ham started his own tour bus company in the mid-1990s. He borrowed money to buy three buses and hire drivers, hoping to build a prosperous business. But when South Korea’s economy collapsed in the Asian Financial Crisis of 1997-98, Ham’s work dried up and he went bankrupt.

It was downhill from there: his relationship with his wife soured and their marriage ended in divorce. Ashamed at having no job or money, he isolated himself from his son and daughter.

“My pride wouldn’t allow me to face them after I had failed,” Ham said. He says he can’t clearly remember the last time he saw his kids in person. “I don’t even think they would know my face if they saw me today,” he says.

As I read about Ham Hak-joon’s plight, my heart broke for him. I can think of few, if any, circumstances in life that are more depressing, devastating, and full of despair than to feel all alone. At any age, loneliness is debilitating, but how much more so at the end of life? I cannot imagine – and, I don’t want to.

Two things struck me as I pondered Ham Hak-joon’s situation. First, Ham Hak-joon himself is a major cause of his loneliness. As he admitted to Time, his pride separated him from his children 15 years ago, and it is his pride that keeps him from reconciling with them today. Secondly, nothing matters more in this life than precious, rich relationships – first with God, then with our fellow man. If we allow anything – pride, greed, envy, bitterness, etc. – to place a wall between us and others (especially God), we have devalued our lives tremendously, for we have pushed away the greatest source of joy on this Earth.

On this first day of the New Year, make sure that you include the cultivation of rich relationships in your list of resolutions. Enriching your relationship with your Creator should be at the top of your list. After that comes enriching your relationships with family and friends. Everything else follows these two, and if you put your first two resolutions in their proper order, this New Year will be your best, no matter what circumstances life throws at you.