Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; – Ephesians 5:25, King James Version (KJV)

Last month I wrote about the failing health of my 91-year neighbor. He died a few days ago, and yesterday I attended his funeral.  He accomplished many things in life, including serving with Patton’s 3rd army in World War II’s Battle of the Bulge, helping Milliken & Company (the largest privately held textile company in the United States) build plants all over the world as its chief engineer, and earning a rare compliment from the local Department of Transportation for his beautification of the road rights-of-way around his house. Despite these accomplishments, they pale in comparison to one of his greatest accomplishments: the raising of a wonderful family.

During the service, the preacher praised my neighbor for his sacrificial love. He sacrificed for his wife and he sacrificed for his children, not only giving up things he wanted to do, but often doing things that they wanted to do – even if he didn’t. For instance, my neighbor’s wife, who passed away a few years ago, once convinced him to take ballroom dancing lessons. Reluctantly he agreed, but as the preacher said in his eulogy, “By the time they were done, those ballroom dancing lessons brought grace even to the gangly man that was our friend.” Everyone chuckled, for everyone knew my neighbor was both tall and thin. I chuckled a little more than most, however, because I knew something that none in the room but my neighbor’s family members knew. My neighbor and his wife used to love ballroom dancing in their garage! Countless times my family witnessed our neighbors wearing out the concrete floor in their garage, enjoying each other as partners in dance as well as partners in life. Yeah, perhaps my neighbor was reluctant in taking those lessons at first, but before it was all said and done, sacrificing for his wife brought years of joy to his life.

Ephesians 5:25 is an admonishment made directly to husbands, but since Christ is the Christian’s model for how to live, it follows that we all ought to love others with a sacrificial love. Sacrificial love is a major key in building peaceful, joy-filled relationships at home, among friends, and on the job, and it is something that is sorely lacking in most of those arenas. When strife, not peace, is the norm in a relationship, sacrificial love is missing, and selfishness has taken its place. If the parties involved in the relationship want peace restored, then someone has to get the ball of sacrificial love rolling, and it might as well be you. There is no guarantee that your effort to love sacrificially will restore your relationship. But, the longer you love sacrificially, the greater the chances that the other person (or people) involved in the relationship will reciprocate, restoring peace and joy to all.

My born-again neighbor was a big coffee lover, having developed the habit in World War II when The Salvation Army would bring hot coffee to the soldiers. I can’t help but think that, after praising his Lord and hugging his wife upon arriving in Heaven, he strolled over to the nearest coffee stand for a quick draught of hot caffeine. Then, it was time for a dance with his bride.