Bronnie Ware worked in palliative care for many years, tending to people during the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. In response to her interaction with the dying, she wrote the book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. The top five regrets, as Ware reported, are as follows:

1.  I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2.  I wish I didn’t work so hard.

3.  I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4.  I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5.  I wish that I had let myself be happier.

As mentioned in No Regrets: Part 1, I see these regrets as arising from not living life in full accordance with God’s Word. Having addressed the first two regrets in No Regrets: Part 1, let’s turn our attention to Regret #3.

“I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings,” is an offshoot of the same fear of man that is the cause of Regret #1. People who hold their feelings in do so because they fear what other people will think about them if they do indeed express their feelings. God created us with emotions, and He expects us to be emotional. As Ecclesiastes 3:4 and 3:8 teach us, there is a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to love and a time to hate. In addition, Romans 12:15 (AMP) tells us that we are to, “Rejoice with those who rejoice [sharing others’ joy], and weep with those who weep [sharing others’ grief].” The reality is that we have feelings because God created us with feelings. Expressing those feelings – with temperance and moderation – is part of how we reflect God’s creative glory in our lives, and we should never be ashamed of expressing the feelings that God has designed us with.

Hebrews 10:24-25 (AMP) addresses Regret #4, “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.” As this passage states:

24 And let us consider and give attentive, continuous care to watching over one another, studying how we may stir up (stimulate and incite) to love and helpful deeds and noble activities,

25 Not forsaking or neglecting to assemble together [as believers], as is the habit of some people, but admonishing (warning, urging, and encouraging) one another, and all the more faithfully as you see the day approaching.

Life is a journey that God intended to be traveled with others. It is through relationships that we watch over each other, learn how to pray for each other, encourage one another, rejoice with one another, and weep with one another. Sadly, keeping in touch with our friends doesn’t always come easy. It usually requires making a conscious decision to push aside life’s urgent matters so that they don’t crowd out one of the most important activities in life: building relationships with our friends.

Finally, let’s look at “I wish that I had let myself be happier.” Found within this regret is a tremendous secret regarding happiness. Happiness is not dependent on our circumstances. It is dependent on how we react to our circumstances. As Paul wrote in Philippians 4:11 (AMP)

Not that I am implying that I was in any personal want, for I have learned (emphasis added) how to be content (satisfied to the point where I am not disturbed or disquieted) in whatever state I am.

Contentment with where we are today is essential to being happy. If you are constantly discontent with your current circumstances, you’ll never be completely happy because you’ll always be on edge. You may also find out that once you achieve what you want to achieve, the achieved goal doesn’t bring contentment like you thought it would. Why? Because, now, you want even more. Being content doesn’t mean we don’t strive to improve our situation. But, learning to be content in our current circumstances makes us both grateful for today’s blessings and patient as we work, with God’s grace, for tomorrow’s blessings.

Life’s regrets are rooted in living life apart from God’s perfect plan. Devour God’s Word as you do your necessary food. Meditate on it day and night. Observe and do according to all that is written in it. Then you shall make your way prosperous, and then you shall deal wisely and have good success.